Be Consistent ~

Growing up, my mom drilled into us that parents need to be consistent. Helping her with our foster kids really drove it home and it still rings in my ear.  I do fall short many times, but I got a gentle reminder the other day . . 

I picked Christopher (5) up from school and headed to Walmart . . . on the way home, he was VERY quiet, so I asked him "Christopher what are you doing?" 

Christopher "I'm drawing on my clothes"

Mommy "please, don't do that - we don't write on our clothes"

I left it along and made a phone call - using my ear piece :) 

Once I got off the phone, he was just as quiet, i asked him again . . . 

"what are you doing?"

This time he said he was writing on the seat (we have leather seats)  

By this time, I got a little irritated, cause this is NOT the first time he's done this nor is it the first time that he's been told . . . you know you kids, they don't always receive instructions the 1st, 2nd, or even the 3rd time. 

So I said, very calmly, "Ok, because you didn't listen, you can't watch your shows when we get home"

Well . . . . that set off the tears and whining and more drama AND the lying

Christopher "I didn't do anything, I didn't write on the seat . . .

 I didn't, I didn't . . . etc" *sobs*

BUT because I actually saw the writing and restated what he said to me, 

I caught him in the lie.

My next responds was again very calm :)

 "Ok, so now that you're lying to mommy, no shows tomorrow either and if you continue, you won't get to watch you show later this week"

well, I think he got it cause he stopped the drama and pouted.  By this time, we were home and I gave him his lunch. Normally I let him watch a movie while he eat, so this time it really set in cause he was just sitting there with no shows

But this is what got me . . . . 

Christopher while sitting eating he said to me "Mom, how come when I lied last time you let me watch my shows (his words exactly)"

It stopped me in my tracks and I mumbled something to him, but inside I was torn up.  I haven't been following through with my words . . . 

I'm famous for "if you don't stop right, I'll . . . " but often times never follow through.

 Empty threats!!!!  Our kids see right through it and continue testing

I think that as parents we think that JUST telling our kids 

but don't follow with action that they'll get it,

 but from what I'm seeing . . . that's not working, ha!

When children disobey, lie, disrespect, etc . . . there has to consequences that get their attention.  

Find out what works to get their attention . . . 

I'm not talking about beatings. . . . 

I'm talking about taking thing away that they really like, time outs, ect.  

For Christopher, watching his "shows" is really fun and enjoyable. 

Now he had two days to find something else to do.  

For Caleb (9) it's something else that triggers his attention

Both boys SOOOO different.

We as parents are training the next generation and it's our job to teach them that their 

consequences to their actions - good and bad, and it will affect the rest of their lives.  

I'm trying to teach my boys now to pray for wisdom in making the right decisions.  

They are going to face with decision throughout their lives and there will be times that

 I won't be there to make it for them.  I can't wait till their teenagers to 

start training, I have to start now.  I pray daily for God's wisdom and strategy in talking 

to my boys with the right words so that they understand

 because if I relied on myself things just don't go smooth.

I wasn't expecting this to be a very long blog, but I wanted to paint a picture of how 

our kids really watch what we do.  

Let's be Godly examples to our kids and stay consistent!!!